Saturday, March 15, 2008

Look! A New Blog Post!

I'm so excited that I actually have free time to blog I don't know what to do with myself! And "free time" is definitely a stretch as I should be doing something else, but no matter...

So, flipping through Golf Digest for my thesis, I thought I'd be hard-pressed to find a magazine I'd be less interested...that is until I was forced to peruse Outdoor Life. I swear if I had seen one more grinning fool holding up a beautiful (dead) deer by the antlers I would have turned to the nice homeless man next to me (who had earlier offered me a package of Lorna Doone shortbread cookies...apparently I either look homeless or in need of processed junk food) and verbally expressed my outrage. But in general I try to avoid eye contact with that nice homeless man. Some other observations about this particular publication: I can now tell you all about the top lure picks of 1999, how not to shoot your comrade Dick Cheney-style, and how to kill tigers and elephants. (Wait a minute, is that legal?? I shit you not, there was an article on it.) Additionally, the only products advertised in Outdoor Life are the following, in various forms: ATVs, Viagra, car wax, and Valvoline lubricant. Just rotate those four ads (oh, plus snuff ads, we mustn't forget), sprinkle in some articles on how to snag your first white-tail of the season or the best new Winchester rifle on the market, and you've got yourself a men's huntin' magazine!!

(Disclaimer: I know I know, I could just as easily poke fun at the formulaic layouts of any genre of magazine, it's just these are the antithesis of what I would enjoy reading and yet I'm forced to for my research, so I have the right to pick on them)

And while we're at it, let's observe together, reader, my favorite smokeless tobacco advertisement I've come across:
First of all, it looks like her leg is disconnected from her body. Secondly, how exactly is dipping better for your sex life? I mean yeah, maybe this girl would be turned on by the fact that you're not a smoker, UNTIL YOU EXCUSE YOURSELF TO SPIT DISGUSTING BROWN JUICE/SPIT INTO A SPITTOON OR CUP. I mean, seriously? GROSS.

And is it just me or does he look a little predatory? Maybe he's in "predertor mode." (Oh man, that video never ceases to amuse the hell outta me.)