Sunday, February 8, 2009

Things said outloud while browsing

I didn't realize you could browse for free, so I put in my zipcode and had at it. And I have come to the conclusion that I am far too much of a misanthrope for online dating. Upon realizing this, I decided to keep a running list of things that went through my head while browsing:

"What is wrong with his HEAD?!"
"You're only interested in women up to 5'7?? But you're 6'1! And so cute!"
"You're GAY."
*deep sigh*
"Oh GOD."
"Hey, here's an idea. If you want a girl to go out with you based on a picture and a profile, it's probably not the best idea to post a pic of you surrounded by a bunch of slutty girls in a bar."
"You're Goal-oriented? WTF"
"Really? Your job is to sell medical 'divices' and you can't even spell the word device?"
"You're wearing a pink polo with the collar popped. That's a joke, right?"
"If you have a great sense of humor then why isn't your profile funny?"
"Manners are important to me. 'Manors' are not."
"Ew! ew, ew, ew, ew, ew."

Ugh...I'm BORED.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

to be depressed...

...and have only two books in the queue, one a memoir detailing the year following the death of a famous author's husband, and the other a series of essays on loneliness and recipes for one, is not recommended.