Sunday, July 20, 2008

We'll shine like gold in the air of summer

A few observations over the past few weeks:

1) Walter the Farting Dog makes a poor bed companion. In fact, rolling over on him and accidentally activating the comically absurd flatulence mechanism is pretty much guaranteed to ruin an otherwise good night's sleep.

2) I'm an over-sharer. I over-share. In interviews, I tell people I have panic attacks. How is that relevant, you ask? It's not. Over. Share.

3) I'm in the wrong profession (ok so I don't have a profession. But if I did, it wouldn't be the one I'm about to tell you about; therein lies the problem). I read this article in the Times today. Basically this journalist got paid to watch DIY network for 24 hours and then write about it. Um, hello?...I watch at least that much, if not more HGTV on a daily basis. Why am I not getting paid for it?! Ugh... And I'm pretty sure I could write up an equally entertaining piece on it too, with a few SAT words like this guy chose sprinkled in ("mercenary,"compendium," "stupefaction") to make it NYTimes-worthy. (On the topic of home renovations and stupefaction, I once offered to fetch my stud-finder (that's what she said) for a maintenance man, to which he replied, with a look of horror on his face: "wait a know what that is? and you own one? men don't like women like make us nervous." hmm)

4) Perhaps it's because of the smattering of life-events that have been concentrated in the past ~2-3 weeks among people close to me (weddings, funerals, ends of relationships, career changes, big moves) that I feel very strange as of late. If it's possible to feel overly sentimental and minimalist at the same time then I think that's what I'm experiencing. I feel a little like my brother (whom I used to tease for this very reason) in that I'm purging my closet and getting rid of a lot of my personal possessions and almost all of my furniture. If you don't know where you're going in life, no sense taking a bunch of junk with you, right?

5) A brief conversation with my father:
-Me: Dad I scored a bunch of free boxes off of Craigslist
-B.C.: Cool.
-Me: Yeah, you know, so I can pack up all my earthly belongings
-B.C.: Oh yeah? Well make sure you leave one out to live in.

Hah. Thanks, dad.


Mel said...

I miss The Bob.

We just scored a new(ish) washer & dryer on Craigslist. It was the first time I'd used it, and now I can do laundry at home again.

greyguitar said...

i definitely have a stud-finder as well. it's the generic kind with the magnet that raises to the center though.

if you change professions to watching-tv-writer, let me know. i've got some interesting novellas that i could write about the weather channel.

you had me cracking up in my cube reading this this morning, btw.

Stephanie said...

I gave you that Walter, the Farting Dog! I'm famous!

Oh, don't worry, I've also realized as of late that I'm in the wrong profession. It's a joy.

And, finally, Craiglist is, hands down, the shit.