Sunday, February 8, 2009

Things said outloud while browsing match.com

I didn't realize you could browse match.com for free, so I put in my zipcode and had at it. And I have come to the conclusion that I am far too much of a misanthrope for online dating. Upon realizing this, I decided to keep a running list of things that went through my head while browsing:

"What is wrong with his HEAD?!"
"You're only interested in women up to 5'7?? But you're 6'1! And so cute!"
"You're GAY."
*deep sigh*
"Oh GOD."
"Barf."
"Hey, here's an idea. If you want a girl to go out with you based on a picture and a profile, it's probably not the best idea to post a pic of you surrounded by a bunch of slutty girls in a bar."
"You're Goal-oriented? WTF"
"Really? Your job is to sell medical 'divices' and you can't even spell the word device?"
"You're wearing a pink polo with the collar popped. That's a joke, right?"
"If you have a great sense of humor then why isn't your profile funny?"
"Manners are important to me. 'Manors' are not."
"Ew! ew, ew, ew, ew, ew."

Ugh...I'm BORED.

4 comments:

Mel said...

Am I your only commenter?

As you probably know, I'm pretty down on meeting people online anymore. Still, those profiles sure do make for some interesting reading.

MGK said...

You know my mom and JP met on Match. And they're like weirdly perfect for one another. Just sayin'...

Beside the point said...

I met an older couple last night that met on match. She said it's good for her age group because it's "hard to tell who's available" at her age. Apparently everyone our age is free as a bird!

Sue Ellen Mishky said...

I sure LOL-ed at this. I'm about to peruse match.com myself...